Highways tend to spin out of Philadelphia, offering a maelstrom of exits from the record-shattering crime rates and intense aromas of freshly dead cat carcasses decorating 15th street. It was on one of these routes we traveled, escaping the city and seeking retreat where plant life had half a chance and the people don't go outside just to swear at each other.
Where urban centers become less and less visible, until finally, civilization tries a few last, desperate gasps before plummeting into wilderness.
A white blur of a sign, featuring outlines of a deer, and possibly a goose, informed us that we were NOW ENTERING THE PENNSYLVANIA WILD.
"That sign scares the shit out of me," my girlfriend stated in all seriousness.
We arrived in the desolate town in what appeared to be 1938. Had it not been for Ford City's annual "Heritage Days" carnival and parade, the presence of humans may have been questionable. The police cars all had pictures of wolves on them; probably indicative of the high number of wolf-related crimes in the area.
Not willing to miss the parade, we watched as a the world's most dead-eyed cheerleaders performed in between an an endless line of fire trucks.
Then, a car with "American Diabetes Association" drove past, its occupants flinging out candy to packs of feral children. I considered the irony of this action, but then realized that the ADA had made no mention of what side of the fight against Diabetes they were on.
The following day, I picked up a newspaper. "Horse Trader," it was called, a cartoon horse smiling so broadly next to the title it seemed like it knew something I didn't. I skimmed through the publication and stumbled upon a letter to the editor from one Rose M. Stitt, Armstrong School District Board Director, Region III.
Rose was pissed.
Her complaints seemed to stem from a particular political phenomenon named Terry Rupp, a man who she claims:
-Spent some time at a board meeting on April 20 "screaming obscenities" and threatening to take a fellow boardmember into the parking lot.
-Secretly videotaped a fellow boardmember during a school board meeting.
-Had a friend leak out confidential information on Stitt's sickly child in the form of a mass email.
Rupp also has a website, www.asd-news.com, which was constructed so that he had a place to make his thoughts regarding other boardmembers and their opinions known. It even has a warning on the home page about how it is not a site for children, as strong language may be used.
From an outsider's perspective, this man seems to be an Kodiak bear of political theory, storming through the forest, snapping off tree branches and crashing through cabin doors, ignoring even the slightest bit of human decency.
From an insider's perspective, he's pretty much the same.
As we cruised down the Allegheny River, I happened to notice a rusted blue jeep sitting outside a ramshackle cabin. The message burnt onto the back end? "EAT MY ASS."
Judging by the political climate of the area, this may be the town motto.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
